Odds Made Even
by ArtzyBumpkin
Summary: Professor Membrane announces that Dib and Gaz have a new sibling on the way. Their initial reactions are about what you'd expect; A lot of confusion, speculation, and a whole bunch of questions. How will this new addition emotionally affect this odd little family in the long-run? SFW and mostly just family drama but if mpreg squicks you I'd probably suggest going elsewhere. Thanks.


"WHAAAAT?!" both Dib and Gaz practically shouted in unison. Their jaws hung wide open as they gawked at their father from where they sat at the kitchen table.

Meanwhile Professor Membrane stood in front of them, a wide grin hidden by the lab coat he wore. "You heard me right, kids! ... Erm, judging by your question perhaps you didn't. So I'll SAY IT AGAIN!" He briefly cleared his throat. "Some exciting changes will be made in this household, for I've got great news for the two of you! Prepare yourselves for the FANTASTIC announcement that is... A NEW SIBLING! I'm having a BABY!" he joyously exclaimed with his arms spread wide as if he were showcasing some presentation... which honestly wasn't untrue.

Confusion and disbelief were plain on the siblings' faces... Guess they'd heard him right after all..?

Despite the obvious perplexity, considering their father's increasingly odd behavior over the past few weeks, it... kinda made sense. Lately he'd tended to get horridly sick to his stomach. Sick to the point of often making him so delirious he'd do nothing but stay curled in on himself on the bathroom floor until the intense waves of vertigo passed. This turned out to be a daily struggle, usually lasting the ENTIRETY of a day. Hell, there were some days the kids wouldn't even get to see him in person because he was holed up in his room to suffer in solitude. It wasn't unusual for him to be distant, be it for work reasons or otherwise, but... they'd never seen him like THIS before. It worried them.

Now, however, they'd been given an answer... one they weren't entirely prepared for.

They silently eyed him up and down, trying their damnedest to comprehend it all... to find some confirmation. Of course, there wasn't very much to go by visually. The only real giveaway was possibly the smallest, slightest hint of a bump protruding from his midsection.

Gaz finally piped up. "Okay, questions..."

"EXCELLENT!" Membrane excitedly clapped his hands together. "Please, ask away!"

"So, and I'm just getting this straight here, you're saying you're... PREGNANT..?"

"I've... clearly stated that twice already but YES! That's correct!" He briefly put a hand to his belly as he continued, "Currently housed within me is a tiny, fetal proportioned human being!"

The girl's eye twitched. "HOW?"

"I'm so glad you asked, dear daughter!" he replied as he leaned close enough to pat the top of her head. "Why, nothing unfamiliar with the way both of you came to be! It's a fairly simple method, really! With advanced knowledge of bio-engineering and genetics, that is! Firstly there's the matter of taking and modifying some of the basic components of my own DNA sample, breaking down and separating the necessary elements so they're pliable enough to manipulate, combining THAT with essential modified reproductive materials, making minor alterations here and there with the addition of some artificial tissue, implanting-" He went on and on, counting down fingers as his explanation was grossly drawn out.

After a while it all started meshing together into an incomprehensible jumble of big words that the kids could no longer follow. Knowing their father, this tangent likely wouldn't end anytime soon...

"Okay! OKAY, dad, we get it!" Gaz interrupted, cutting him short. To her relief, he paused mid-explanation. "It's this 'amazing, sciencey, bio-whatever' process you came up with. Yadda yadda yadda... That's all VERY interesting." She sighed. "I guess what I meant to ask was how you would... well..." she paused, mulling over how she wanted to word this. "Like... How're you gonna..? um..."

"Come again?" Membrane quirked a brow.

Gaz's cheeks turned pink. "You KNOW... uh... How are you gonna..?" Words seemed to die in her throat as she apparently couldn't bring herself to finish the question. "H-How is it supposed to..?" Still selectively mute, she vaguely gestured towards him.

The professor tilted his head curiously before finally realizing what his daughter was getting at. "OH!" He gave an amused chortle. "Now, darling, THAT is something you're just going to have to trust me with. Believe me when I say that I've more than got it covered." He chuckled again. "Anything else I can enlighten you on?"

"Also," Dib suddenly chimed in, a not-so-subtle hint of agitation apparent in his voice, "how is THIS more believable than what I study?! People call ME crazy for researching the supernatural but then THIS kind of thing is totally acceptable?! I would think there should be just as much scepticism about a pregnant man as there is about aliens and cryptids!"

"BECAUSE, son, it's a procedure that's been scientifically documented and proven to work! A procedure I've worked on MYSELF, in fact!" he proudly stated, pointing to himself with his thumb. "While it's still not a VERY common occurrence, it's slowly becoming more and more normalized in this day and age. Think about it! Given time, and if this study progresses like I predict it will, birth rates could be higher than ever before! Population issues would be a thing of the distant past! And besides all of THAT, not only is this yet another scientific achievement but also an introduction to the latest addition to the Membrane family! A brand new brother or sister for the both of you!"

He paused momentarily, excitedly awaiting feedback as he watched for their reactions. They both stayed quiet, expressions remaining unreadable. His own smile faltered slightly. "... You're not happy?"

The kids exchanged looks before turning back to their father. "Um... It's kinda hard to be enthusiastic for something we literally JUST found out about..." Gaz stated in a monotone, "That's a heavy load to just drop on us out of nowhere.."

Membrane blinked. "You take other unexpected news well."

"YEAH," Dib interjected, crossing his arms, "when the news isn't LIFE ALTERING!"

The professor laughed again, this time an uncharacteristic tone of uncertainty creeping into his voice. Regardless, he tried to keep the mood light. "Well, SURE we'll have to adapt but I don't think I'd go so far as to call it life altering."

"Dad, a BABY isn't a little change! It's not like taking in a dog or a opossum or WHATEVER! We'll have to do more than just ADAPT! This is going to change OUR LIVES!... BIG TIME!"

This wasn't a reaction he was expecting. He hadn't considered the possibility of them disapproving of the news. Momentarily he was at a loss for words. "I... I didn't realise you'd feel so strongly about this..."

"You 'didn't know.'.. You 'DIDN'T KNOW?!' It didn't ever cross your mind to ASK first?! You actually went through with this and didn't even consider asking us how we FELT about it?!"

The professor furrowed his brows, growing somewhat nettled by their attitudes. "What, do you think I made this decision out of the random? That this was intended to be some act of selfishness on my part? I'll have you both know it WASN'T! I did what I did because I thought it'd be good for us! This was supposed to be a HAPPY occasion!" he suddenly barked. When he realized he'd raised his voice he took a breath, tentatively rubbing the back of his neck. "I went through with this having every good intention, I swear it... I suppose I just THOUGHT it'd be a nice surprise..."

The boy glared for a few tense moments. "... Well you know what, DAD? Good intentions or no... Your 'INGENIOUS IDEAS' don't make EVERYONE's lives better."

Membrane heaved a long, drawn out sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Alright... I understand you're upset. And I admit that perhaps I didn't take the correct approach with this... But I just don't understand why this is has to be such a big deal. Things WILL change, of COURSE they will, but does that really have to be a bad thing..? Why does this have to be a BAD thing?"

"'WHY?'" Dib scoffed... then a bitter smirk tugged at his lips. "Okay... Okay, want me to elaborate? Here, I'll ELABORATE," he states as he stood up from his seat, "Better yet, let me answer your question with another question... Why exactly did you want another baby anyway, HUH? You don't even have time for the kids you HAVE!" he exclaimed, the last three words each raising in pitch as he brought his fist down hard against the table.

The final statement took Membrane aback, rendering him speechless as he stared in utter shock. For the first time in a while he didn't have an immediate answer. Is that what the kids really think? That he doesn't legitimately try to make time for them? That he doesn't try to put them first? While he himself believed otherwise, he couldn't help but wonder... was it true? That thought greatly unsettled him.

What should he say..? What COULD he say..?

Dib fumed for a moment, shakily breathing through grit teeth as tears gradually built up so much they almost blinded him. He huffed, suddenly turning on his heels and storming out of the room before another word could be said. Membrane flinched as a door was slammed.

That could've gone better...

The professor's shoulders slumped as he sighed defeatedly. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a small figure sitting at the table. In the little stand off between Dib and himself, he'd temporarily forgotten he still wasn't the only one currently present in the kitchen. She hadn't spoken up in a while, he'd noticed. Membrane gulped lightly before anxiously turning to face Gaz, his expression wordlessly asking 'what about you?' as they made eye contact.

The young girl opened her mouth to speak... only to let out a breath. She shook her head slightly as she slowly slid out of her seat, presumably going to her own room. Question answered... Dib's argument apparently spoke for both of them.

At long last, he was alone. The professor took an empty seat and rested his elbows on the table as he ran a hand along the length of his jaw. He sat there a while, drumming his fingers along the edge of the table as he attempted to debrief. Sure he's a genius... but he's obviously no psychologist. When it comes to situations regarding deep emotions, he's completely out of his element. Of course, being a parent, that's supposed to be part of his responsibility right? He felt so lost.

How's he supposed to fix THIS?

Deciding giving his kids space was the best option for now, he stood up from the chair and headed towards his lab. "They just need time to think this over," he tried to reassure himself, "Yes... at some point they'll have to come around..."

Right..?

This idea's been buzzing around in my head for a hot minute. An idea I had abandoned long ago cuz I thought I couldn't do it any justice..

HOWEVER, I've since decided to try it out anyways! May be a hit or miss, who knows, but I'm working on it regardless!

Any feedback is appreciated. I hope it's an interesting enough concept to check out at least. :P

Happy reading, luvs!


End file.
